Graduation: Now What

I graduated two months and a day ago today. I spent the first month and a half working at the front desk of my residence hall which never fully covered my bills yet always brought a smile to my face because of the people I was surrounded by. At the same time I applied for job after job, to receive rejection after rejection. I was broken and discouraged wondering how I was going to justify the $50,000 debt I had accrued on an education that wasn’t paying off. I stopped looking for my dream job and started looking for ANY job. Something to pay the bills, around the same time I got two job offers. The first as a receptionist at a Technical School and the other as a Barista at Starbucks. I took them both. I have been working at the school for about three weeks now and I am starting training at SB. Throughout this process I have heard over and over “why are you working here with a college degree”? I want to look at them and say the same reason you are without one. But I just say it’s a great learning opportunity, which I believe everything in life is. But right now the only thing getting me through my 11 hour work days are my friends, family, and the Christian radio station that I listen to in my car whenever I go anywhere. I am scared, and worried that I spent all this time and money and I will never get to use everything I have learned to help others, which is ultimately all I want to do. I know that I should be grateful for my jobs and I am. I am grateful for everything I have been given. I have been blessed so much by my friends this summer. They opened they’re homes to me, gave me encouragement, financial assistance and helped me to laugh when I needed it the most. God was definitely looking out for me when he placed them in my life. So many others offered what they could as well, and I Love them for there compassion and kindness. I know that this too shall pass but it feels so huge and all consuming. The other day as I was unpacking and moving into my new apartment with my friends, I found the cards I received for graduation. I started to read them and they were full of inspirational messages and exclamations of my many future successes. All I could do was cry, because it seems so far away. I am broken and I feel so lost. I feel like taking the receptionist job was such a mistake, I feel like I jumped on it way to soon and may have missed something bigger, better, part of the purpose for my life. I feel overwhelmed which is exactly how I felt right before I graduated. I don’t know what is in store for me in the next year. (That is how long I signed my lease for) I have looked at grad school and I have resumed looking for my dream job. I realized that God doesn’t close any doors without opening a window. So I am waiting for the next window and trying to figure how I Sania Roslyn Elshorbgy am going to make a mark on the world!!! My friends and family said it best so I will leave you with a few quotes from the cards I received for graduation. “Step into your future with a prayer in your heart and a song in your soul-step into your future with faith in the Lord and the abilities He’s given you…Step into your future secure in the knowledge that this world needs you and the unique, inspiring gifts that only you can give.” From Ani “May you always have a dream to follow, wisdom’s light to guide you—May you know that others love you and will always stand beside you.” From Uncle Barry “Your future is sure to have all the success and happiness you’ve worked so hard to achieve.” Daddy and Cindy